Saturday, September 16, 2006
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o well.haven been blogging for the past weeks due to prelim.
so i refrained myself from using the com.
well.today sort of marks my new beginning of a new life.
a life tt i gotta get used to being alone.
i dunnoe hw its gonna be lyk.bt i noe it will nt be good.
i noe i will feel lonely alone cos nobody can replace u in my hrt.
i made that painful decision, tt decision tt was difficult to be made.
one day we can just be so close, bt another we can just be distance apart.
u are the one tt i have ever loved so much. i dunnoe why.
honestly speaking u dun have the charm bt u just used to attract my attention so much with ur crapiness.hw i wish we cld crap lyk tt agn. hw i wish this breakup was nv my decision my thoughts.
i really dun mean to pick on joan.bt sorry, i dont like my stead (or rather considered my ex nw) to be so close to a girl tt i dun even noe.when u are down, angry, u turn to her. haix. u can say she is nt ur type or u are nt her type.seriously all these doesnt matter to me at all.bt it is always difficult to say. i nv tot we will be tgt, same for u too.thus, things shld nt be said too early.
haix.i feel the pain. bt i did this becos i felt lyk u needed a break frm me. i did this cos i dint want ur feelings for me to deteoriate further. Even now after 1 yr 3 mths and 16 days, my feelings are still as firm for u.it has nv dropped before.i dunnoe why isit lidat. bt tts my feelings.u claimed tt u dint lyk mi talking to guys.similarly, with the same concept, i dun lyk u to talk to her.tts it! its as simple as this! bt why do we make it lyk our msgs are hard to put across?!
haix.i dunnoe.things are the same.i really cannot feel anything frm ur hrt for me.haix.i dunnoe.
maybe this is just really the end.bt the memories are kept forever within me.movie marathons, playing pool maluing myself, the nights out, the nights at soccer field, the nights on national day, everyting, every single ting is remembered. i dunnoe for u.i noe i wun ask u back.i noe i wun ask u for a patch cos i m afraid of making the wrong decisions agn.cos i dunnoe ur feelings.tts all.i will just leave it, and hope to be able to move on.realised i have probably been neglecting my friends, i shall catch up with them! i m really sorry babes!! i have just been in my own world..haix.i love u all loads!! =)
StiLl FaLliNg.//* 9:44 AM
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Friday, September 08, 2006
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i m so tired nw.another 3 more days and prelims starts.haix.time flies really really fast when u need them.anw, i m missin the craps i talk to my frens in school.well.it seems different nw when i talk to u.m i really boring? haix.i dunnoe larh.rmb last tym b4 we were even tgt, every nite we talk lyk many things.crappy things.stupid things.funny jokes.always being lame to the max.bt nw it seems different larh.lyk hai.i dunnoe.maybe my jokes are nt funny at all nw larh.maybe it is jus stupid nw larh. maybe my crapiness nw just reflects hw idiotic bah. haix.nvm as each day goes by, it seems lyk i m getting more boring to u.o well.probably i do bah.i dunnoe wat made mi accept u again.bt i hoped i made the right choice.i hope u wld treasure this last chance. i have never forgiven sum1 who is so close to mi and lied to mi twice. but frm ur sincerity last night, i was touched. i felt probably i should not condemn u for just 2 mistakes.i tot long n decided 1 last chance it will be, tts all. as i went to ur hse todae, i watched kimsasoon. i dint mean to disturb u. and i tot u wil go back to slp after u helped me with the vcds and everything.bt u dint.i cld see tt u were really tired. i wanted to ask u to go n slp bt i cldnt open my mouth for dunnoe watever reason.well.u watched one disc with mi finish and after tt u went to rest for awhile. while u rest, i packed ur room, ur bed, and went down to take out ur lunch for u. i took out to let it cool down cos u dint lyk to eat it hot. well.i dint noe why i did tt, bt i just did it lor.sounds kinda stupid huh.anyway after tt when u came down for ur lunch, i went to the living room. felt quite tired.decided to take a rest.hear my mp3.while hearing the songs, i cried.it was lyk the words are arhhh!!! dunnoe!! gosh! anyway the dog kept disturbing mi! tinking i m playing with it.bt its damn cute anyway.hahas.and when u came to give mi the food, seriously my heart, which was at first steel, melted.steel can melt? INCREDIBLE!well.nvm.guess we were okie after tt. was slightly late for tuition.after tt went compass to study.den came home.gosh.i feel really..damn argh...wl. packed ur things for u den say i pack until nw u cannot find alot of ur ws.wah.forget it.next tym i m nt gonna touch ur things le larh.pack for u is hao xin tink tt so messy if u wanna find sumthing its lyk looking for a needle in a molehill, now its lyk the other way round.wth!WATEVER!EVERYTING IS JUST MY FAULT MAN! WTH!haix.trying really hard to chill sia.gosh! this sux!
StiLl FaLliNg.//* 8:02 AM
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Thursday, September 07, 2006
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twice.if i did that to u, hw wld u ever feel?u lied twice to me.twice for the same girl.who doesnt know i cant stand ppl who lie to me?it makes mi wonder just hw i can be compared to her.i as yr gf, or rather now once ur gf, can be compareed to her?i apologized for checking ur computer. or rather browsing ur computer.when i saw the chat logs, i saw her name.tt file was big.i tot to myself shld i look at it.i was hesistant.nt hestitant bt very very hestitant. i clicked on it once.i felt guilty.i noe i shldnt be doing this at all.bt i just wanted to prove 1 ting.the ting was tt watever u said, u meant it.i dint really read the contents. i just browsed through the dates.i was disappointed. i rmb clearly last sat, when we quarrelled, u told me u had nt talk to her since 1 mth ago. at that moment. i felt gd.gd tt u respected me.gd tt u understood wat i meant.gd tt u bothered to listen to me. bt when i saw the dates, the times ur talked, my heart just stood still. i was devastated.i closed everyting within 3 minutes.i walked to the tv and stared at it.during tt period, i tot to myself shld i pretend i dunnoe anyting? or shld i just confront you.i didnt know what to do.it really came as a shock.one moment we are so happy.another moment a different story.as u came down frm ur room, u walked straight to the computer room.i sat at the living room.waited for abt 10 mins.dint noe wat u were busy with. or rather i was not bothered. at tt tym, i feel lyk i m invisible to you.soon, u realised my attitude towards u was different. i walked away to cool down.i walked away to clear my mind. as i walked into the com room hearing the song as it is playing, i cannot refrain myself from crying.when i looked at u, my hrt broke.u dint cheat on me, bt the fact tt u lied to mi,it became similar.when u hugged me, my tears just kept flowing.no matter hw hard i tried to hold it back, i cld nt do it.i called jie.nt knowing wat to do, she did nt pick up.i called doon, wanting to ask him to lend me his extra phone.i returned ur phone, took all my things tt were with u, wore my socks and i left.i heard u bang the door. i dint walk back.i just left there straight, without turning my back at all again.i ran down the hill, walked to serangoon mrt.as i hear my mp3, happy memories and flashbacks of us came to me.bt i knew all these were the past. these will nv ever come back anymore.i dried my tears before i met jie, swan they all.well, i guess they could see sumthing within me cos they kept staring at me. i knew u wld nt be gg for tuition. i just know u too well tt nw i seem to be able to read ur mind.as i went to mr teo's tuition alone, cos i wanted a moment of peace,this is the first tym i walked there alone.hw did it feel? it sux bt well, i m gonna get used to it.soon later jie reached tuition and told mi u werent coming.i laughed it off telling her i had expected it.well, tuition was okie. laughed quite abit cos ppl around mi were also laughing at wat mr teo said about mi. lol.it sounded lyk i was quite pathetic.the indian guy sitting beside me kept laughing larh.tt was malu. bt nvm.i just laughed too.tuition was ending soon. u called. as i felt my phone vibrating and saw ur number, i did nt know if i should pick it up.bt i did.i felt tt i should hear just wat u gotta say. i picked up. dint talk much, u just told mi u sent a msg to my other phone.and tata.tt was it. i checked my other phone.when i saw yr msg, i cried.i dropped a few tears and quickly wiped it off. i replied u.as i replied u, i wldnt deny tt my heart felt really pain..as another msg came.i replied 1 last one and dint reply anymore.i continued doing my work. tried to pay no attention to the phone and at 5 40, u called again.it sounded lyk u cried.bt i dunnoe. it seemed we had not much to sae, and ur mum was screaming at the background, i decided to put down the phone.went to eat dinner with jie after tt. had nt much appetite bt just ate alittle..and i came home immediately.gosh.dunnoe wat i m gonna do tmr morning nw.well.i shall try to find ppl to accompany me den.it was actually left for u.bt guess tts nt necesary anymore.
----THE END-----
StiLl FaLliNg.//* 5:12 AM
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Friday, September 01, 2006
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i m here agn!!why?cos i m too free nw..well.anyway went library to study today since 11.was actually expecting sum1. bt that person dint turn upwas i upset disappointed or angry?Initially, i guess i was angry.angry tt u said u were nt coming, angry tt u said u would go bt in the end not. angry tt after playing soccer,u claimed to be tired and wanted a rest.i had nothing to say.i said "suit yourself"continued studying till 1plusand jie decided to eat as she was hungrywent koufu with her. no appetite.ate tofu.tts all.went back to the library. continued studying.waiting.i thought u wld turn up bt u dint. i guess i expected too much. as a result i gt a greater disappointment.by 4 i knew u were nt coming at all.i continued studying.at 5 jie wanted to go macs to eat fries.was lazy to go at first bt she dragged me.went macs.stoned awhile and i saw baby tomato!glad to see her and she gave me a big hug.i felt so nice. so comfortable tt i felt lyk crying.probably this feeling wld be gone forever.sat down and chatted with baby tomato for abt 45 mins?yup.went back to library after that..abt 6 10 i saw baby tomato and swan infront of me!i was shocked.i took another look and it was them!i was happy! happy that they came to look for me!and i tink baby tomato took 1 of my neoprint?! but i dunnoe which is it!! ARGH!anyway. waited for dad to pick mi up abt 7. your msg came. u are nt gg online.i m lyk wah fine.guess ur frens are more impt than me nw anyway.or ur soccer? i dunnoe. u seem to change.u dun take tt much notice on me nw?as in last tym u used to notice if i had a change on me or sumthing?bt nw u dun.after lyk many weeks den u take note? lyk haix.nvm.probably all these dun matter anymore nw.15 mths tgt with u was great.was nice.was enjoyable.was comfortable.thank u for all that.but maybe u dont know how worried or how stressed up i feel for ur studies.i dunnoe why i feel so worried also.but i m just lidat.well.nvm. just take care everyone! (:
StiLl FaLliNg.//* 7:08 AM
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HELLO!!!!
i m a good girl to update here cos my darling hillary ask mi to do so!!
aint i gd?!
wahahhas =P
anw had science practical today..
faints! i do everything in rubbish!
the stupid lipase and bile thingy is so OILY AND STINKY!!
oh well, as usual i m clumsy, i broke a test-tube while i was doing chemistry
when the whole lab was suddenly all quiet, everyone doing their prac attentively,
SUDDENLY THERE WAS A 'PING PIANG'!
and tt was from me!!! my test-tube slip off my table n landed on the floor!
gosh! tt was malu-ating larh!!
argh!!! well..i think sarah is a BIG JOKER!!
keep making mi wanna laugh during prac larh!
BUT I REFRAIN!
haha! noe wat?
she went to contaminate the whole vegetable oil which is actually yellow in colour
she went to contaminate that whole container with phenophathelin and it turned pink!
HAHA! gosh! and she keep spilling her contents larh
i seriously wanted to burst out laughing at that tym sia
both of us are lyk super blur in doing the experiments
hahas..horriblee!!! mm!!!!
then, we were quarantined in classroom until 4 30! so HOT LARH!
wah! lyk in sauna sia!
FINALLY 4 30 we are dismissed!!! hooray!!!
went htl with sarah, sheryl-lynn and nicole
actually i wanted to eat chicken rice with jie
bt decided to join them instead in MACS!
hahas! FATTY FOOD!!! HRMPF!!!
met hw to get back my things
he gt injured cos he fell down the stairs
his hand looks pathetic though!
hahas! srry!! =P
after that, came home with jie.
gt bad bad headache..i seriously almost died of pain sia
gosh! den MY MAMA ASK ME WASH ONE WHOLE PAIL OF CLOTHES!!!
CRYS!!!! nw my hand feel so funny after using the soap
ee..... came online
heard many unhappy memories from hw
haix.pity.bt well cant be helped!
and mel mel is asking mi to QUICK QUICK QUICK!!
becoming lou sou huh!!! LOL!!! can be my AH GONG LE LARH!!!
hahas!
i LOVE THE PIANO SONGS!!!
hahas! okie! i m offf~~~~
gosh eng prelim is this monday
really scared....
my teacher say it isnt easy and ask us to be prepared
haix.god bless me pls!!!!
okie.tts it!!!
I LOVE EVERYONE & YOU* =))
StiLl FaLliNg.//* 6:14 AM
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Thursday, August 17, 2006
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AHH!! Tomorrow is my English o level oral!!!
At first, dint feel anything.. NOW I feel the PRESSURE!!!
Siann=///
Went popular today…bought an English composition book
Was just reading a few essays when I came about this essay about jealousy
Decided to share a part of the essay with people
This book is taken from the English o level model compostions
Here it goes:
Jealousy is a negative emotion.The feeling that a jealous person bears towards another is not a good one.It is born out of envy, resentment and illwill towards the other. Jealousy will always be with the common man. A person becomes a better person when he does not allow jealousy to control him
After reading it, how do u feel??
I totally agree with it.but well, sometimes we can’t just help feeling jealous can we?
I guess probably it’s fine and normal to get jealous at times over things, but just do not let jealousy affect u and make u do stupid things.
Well.. that’s all I got to say!
I am going to continue to read to prepare for my oral tomorrow!!!
All the best who are taking their oral tomorrow too (:
StiLl FaLliNg.//* 5:42 AM
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Thursday, August 10, 2006
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DEAD!
tmr take back chi o's resultS! =(
DEAD!
tmr i have geog test!
DEAD!
tmr i have chem test!
AHHH!!!!
i cant wait for tmr to END!!!!
TIREDDD =///
I WANNA SLP!
StiLl FaLliNg.//* 5:18 AM
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